The weather is absolutely gorgeous! It finally actually feels like fall here! It's 60 degrees and pretty windy, and just loverly. Wonderful weather. :D

I should be resting my hand instead of typing. I had some stuff to finish up on the computer, but now that I've finished that, I need to give my hand a break from typing for a couple of days, hard as that may be. I'm still sick too, coughing more and with more congestion in my chest that doesn't want to go away. I'm not sure how all this is going to affect my novel-writing, because I haven't done as much prep work as I hoped to due to being sick and having this hand problem, and I don't know if I'll be able to type enough by next week to start on my writing. I'm going to try though, and keep researching and planning, and I plan on at least giving it a try, whether or not I get it all done in a month.

Oh well. The beautiful weather has me cheerful! Weather like this always cheers me up. :D

I've been up late with my asthma a lot lately, and still don't feel like going to bed. Lying down makes it worse. Also, I've been having a lot of problems with a pinched nerve or something, hurting in my back, and down into my shoulder, wrist, and hand. It started up when I spent a couple of hours sitting on the living room floor with my laptop last week, apparently working at an angle my hand didn't like. Now I can't use my right hand much without it hurting. So I decided I should stop using it for a bit and give it time to get better, and put a brace on it about half an hour ago. Shortly after, my arm started itching where the brace was, so I took off the brace and had red blotches on my arm, to which I applied lotion. It got a lot worse though, and I have to be careful with hives and such, as they can bother the lungs, worsen my asthma. So I just had to take a Benadryl. At 3am. I'll be doing well to be awake again by 3pm.

(I really shouldn't be typing now, considering I'm giving my arm a rest)

Life is kinda dull at the moment...well, in a way. It's interesting in ways I'd rather avoid. :P I'm pretty sick right now, with asthma and bronchitis. I've had a lot of ups and downs with my health the last year, but it's never been this bad. I had to go to the hospital once in February with breathing problems, but after that, I got a nebulizer so I can take breathing treatments here at home when I need to. Since then, I'd at least been able to control it when it got bad. But it's never been as bad as it has been the past couple of days. I was doing better than that most of today, but in the last little bit, it's been getting bad again. I'd greatly appreciate prayer. My body is so exhausted, and it's rather wearing emotionally as well.


I've recently been getting more interested in photography, and I'm trying to learn all I can while saving up for a digital SLR. Here are some pictures of roses in our yard:

Light pink rose, lightened a bit in Photoshop
Raindrops on roses...
More raindrops...
In the sun

I love having roses in the yard. It's nice always having them at different stages to photograph. :)

I really did intend to keep you all updated more...I guess a lack of activity has kept me from posting much, but I should start posting again anyway. I've been wanting to write more, and maybe journaling would be a good start. I used to write in journals a lot more, but online and on paper, but I've slacked off the past several months.

First off, I haven't been doing much, on account of the fact that I'm still trying to get myself well. I went back to the doctor earlier in the week to refill a prescription, and apparently the sinus infection from four weeks ago is still hanging around, which would explain a lot of why I've been feeling so bad. That also irritates the asthma. So I've been staying on antibiotic and heavy decongestants a lot this week, which has been rough, but I think it's helping me. I've had a rough night, but also felt better this morning than I've been feeling, so maybe it's a good sign, and hopefully I'll be feeling better sometime over this next week.

I had so many writing goals for the month! I wanted to get a ton written in February, but between being sick and being drugged because I was sick, that hasn't exactly happened. Hopefully I can get more written throughout this month. I'm making it a goal anyway...maybe if I post about it here, I'll be more inclined to do so.


Randomness:

99% cocoa dark chocolate is good, especially with coffee. It's very strong though, so I would recommend working your way up to it in degrees. Wal-mart has Ghirardhelli 60% cocoa with ground espresso beans, and I think that's the best chocolate I've ever had. Absolutely fabulous. I don't know if you can get the 99% stuff here in America though. I have friends in high places... ;) Well, Europe, really. That's where mine came from. :P

I'm tired of computer problems. Our router died earlier this week, and our modem was acting up as well. They were almost five years old and really needed to be fixed anyway, but it was still frustrating, especially considering I spent three hours trying to get the new router working before I found out the modem was having trouble too. But my laptop is now wireless, which makes me happy! *grin* Maybe I'll post more about the other computer problems later. I'm more cheered up right now and don't want to think about that anymore. :P

I need something to read. Of course, I have plenty of books I haven't read or want to read again, but I'm indecisive and none of them interest me at the moment. Though I would like to read The Silmarillion again. Maybe I'll read that one.

I'm writing a short story in the style of Wodehouse. It's rather fun, though I haven't gotten very far. I decided I wanted to have a go at that writing style, so we'll see how that turns out! I've read a bit of Wodehouse before, then this week, have started watching Jeeves and Wooster. Hugh Laurie is brilliant as Wooster! He's really a great actor, and does the role perfectly. :)

I'm getting rather sleepy now, so toodle pip!

I just typed all this up for my blog and thought I'd post it here too.

Last Wednesday, I went to the doctor for my asthma. It had gotten pretty bad, and I was barely up to doing anything because I was having such trouble with my lungs. Last fall I had gotten on one preventive inhaler, and it made me worse and made me very lethargic, and my throat got hoarse to the point I could barely talk. Because of all that, I had wanted to avoid getting on any other medicines. I wasn't sure which drug in that inhaler had caused the reaction, so didn't want to risk it by trying something else. When I went last week, he gave me a different inhaler, Singulair, a pill to take every night for my asthma, and antibiotic for bronchitis, as he could hear the wheezing in my lungs.

After a couple of days, I felt much better, and even felt great at dance Saturday. A bit later that night, I felt exhausted, then by Sunday, I felt like I had a horrible sinus infection and ear infection, a gland in my throat was getting swollen, and I was getting a migraine. Then my throat started getting scratchy. With all the medicine I was on, I was the last person in the house that should be that sick. Yesterday morning when I got up, I couldn't talk above a whisper. Up until that point, I couldn't figure out why I was so sick, but once my throat got so bad, I thought it could be the medicine. I the stopped taking the medicine and started researching it. Sinus infections, ear infections, and sore throats are some of the more common severe side effects that inhaler can cause. Those are actually mild compared to some of the worse things that can happen. Also possible effects include delusions and hallucinations. I read about one woman whose son was hurt jumping off their deck after the hallucinations because he started to believe he could fly. They don't tell you anything like that when they give out the medicine! In the papers from the pharmacy, it does mention the infections, but not the hallucinations or delusions. I'm doing a lot better than I was Sunday night, though still not fully recovered. I can see a definite change since getting off the medicine though. I certainly won't be taking that inhaler again. I am still taking the Singulair, and I'm hoping that will be enough to keep the asthma under control. I think people should be made more aware of the dangers of medicines though. I'm just glad I realized when I did that it was the medicine making me so sick. What if I hadn't known and continued taking the medicine? How much worse off would I have gotten? And I wonder just how many people out there are made worse by medicines and don't realize it. I don't think the doctor or pharmacist believed me last fall when I said it was the medicine making me worse, as they wanted to put me on a higher dosage, though they'll probably believe me now. So how common is it for drugs to be the cause of medical problems, yet not even looked at as a possible cause? Medicine can be good at times, and I don't think it should be avoided altogether, but sometimes it can cause a world of problems. I'm just glad I realized that was what made me so sick.

I love that line from Walk the Line. Seriously though, I may just have it. I can barely talk, anyway. I went to the doctor last Wednesday and got on asthma medicine(thank you all for the prayers!!) and that's doing a lot better. But I'm having a lot of sinus trouble, with a swollen gland, migraines, and excrutiating sinus pain. And now I can barely talk and have a very sore throat. It's so hard not to talk though! At least I know sign language, and can use that with my family, but still...I really should stop trying to talk, as that's probably only making it worse.

Not really much else going on. I've been reading the book Rebecca, by Daphne du Maurier. I finished it yesterday. It was very good, quite intriguing. I'm reading a few other books now, while trying to decide which one I really want to read.

Tomorrow it will be one year since we evacuated for Hurricane Rita. It's strange to think back to this night a year ago, when we were packing up to leave. We live in a mobile home and were right on the projected path for the hurricane to hit us straight on, so we didn't know if we would have a home when we got back. A few weeks before, we were helping with some of the Katrina victims, so we got to see a lot of that firsthand and hear stories about what happened to them. It was mind-boggling to realize we were then evacuees ourselves! Here's another post from before we left, then here you can read the log I kept of our trip. One thing I didn't mention there is that it was 102 degrees outside when we set up camp! I love camping, but that was just too much. The lake was a wonderful relief though.

My asthma has been bad the last few days, and I've had a bad headache tonight. I thought I was having a rough night until I realized that one year ago tonight, we were packing up to leave thinking we weren't going to have a house to come home to. It's really all a matter of perspective.

Asthma can really get scary at times. I'm breathing better now, but I'm getting over a pretty bad attack, I think my worst yet. I really thought I was about to pass out. I felt lightheaded and could barely breathe, and my lips felt all tingly. They've never felt that way before. I still feel bad and I have a terrible headache and I'm wiped out, but at least I can breate. Thank God for albuterol. That was really scary. Thankfully my mom was still awake. I went and found her and sat on the floor near her in case I passed out. I remained concious, however, and between the inhaler and caffeine from an obliging Dr Pepper, I was soon able to breathe again. I'm going to sit back and watch a movie for a bit before going to bed, to let my breathing improve a bit more before I lie down.

I went to the doctor today for my asthma, and it went pretty well. I've been having a lot of trouble with it lately, and have reached the point where I need to get some medicine to help me get back to feeling well. The doctor I usually go to isn't there, because his wife just had a baby. I was apprehensive over seeing the substitute doctor, not knowing how well she would listen to me or if she would want to run tests or put me on all this medicine I didn't want. However, she listened to me well, and it went better than I thought it would. I got on Prednisone, which I took once last fall. It's a steroid, so it isn't something I want to take unless I have to, but it will help me get over this some so I can recover and get back to breathing properly. She actually put me on is for a shorter time than the doctor did before, and I'll only be on it for a week. It's the only medicine that has actually helped, and with minimal side effects. It does cause an increase in appetite though, and last time I was on it, ate about twice as much as usual!

Tonight, I tackled a project I've wanted to take on for a few years now. When I graduated, Mama gave me a hope chest she had gotten for her graduation. The top was covered in upholstery, and I've wanted to recover the top. I settled on a thick denim, as it matches my room and will go with many things. I bought myself a staple gun a couple of weeks ago, then tonight, I set to work. It wasn't too hard, and went well, though it was my first experience using a staple gun. I didn't injure myself though. I'm very pleased with the results, and it looks even nicer than I thought it would. The dark blue looks beautiful against the dark wood, and the chest looks very nice in front of my window. I'll try to post pictures soon.

The night I bought the staple gun, I also bought an apron panel in the fabric department, then type that's already printed on the material. I washed that tonight, and hope to sew that up over the weekend. I'll post pictures of that as well. I love the material.

I also went shopping today, and got the cutest shirt. It's a vintage looking button-down top, with little blue flowers on it. I love it! I had seen it before for $13, then when I went to get it today, it was marked down to $10. Even better! :)

You Are Fall!

Thoughtful Expressive Creative Poetic Smart

I've been rather absent from here as of late, partly from cutting back on internet time, and partly from just being out of sorts. The times I'm online most are the times I'm wanting to be alone and withdraw.

I'm so tired of being sick. I'm tired of my asthma and my allergies, and I'm tired of finding things I can't do because I'm sick. I feel like I'll always be sick.

Starting fall 2002, I've gotten sick a lot during the winter. I got bronchitis that September and it lasted until mid-December, when we had a hard freeze. It happened again the next year, and the next. I'd get sinus infections late July, deal with a lot of those until September, then get bronchitis through mid-December. I got sick again last fall, and we came to realize I actually had asthma as well. I didn't have as bad of a bout of bronchitis, but had fairly constant asthma problems, with severe attacks at times. We found the preventative medicines actually made me worse, so I'm not on any of those. Well, the light at the end of the tunnel was mid-December, just "knowing" I'd get better again then. December came and went, and I was feeling just as bad as ever. We never had a hard freeze, so the pollen never died; we still had ragweed blooming in February. My asthma got a bit better around March, but has still bothered me off and on. It's been a lot worse again lately, and my allergies have been horrid. Everyone in the family, even the dog and cat, are having allergy problems, so there's apparently something in the air. But I feel like I'm always going to be sick, and it's very tiring.

I'm hoping that we'll have a hard winter and it will freeze and kill all the pollen...then maybe I'll do better from then until summer. And even when I'm sick during the winter, I do much better when it's cold outside. I can go sit outside, and the cold air helps immensely. So I'm really praying for a good, cold winter this year, and also praying this stuff clears up somehow and that I'll get some relief.

I just got back from running again. We went to a track at a nearby school, which was easier on our feet than the concrete would have been. It was a 1/4 mile track. I ran two laps without stopping, alternated between walking and running on the next lap, ran another lap, then walked one. It felt great. We checked the distance of the block we've been running, and it was a little over half a mile. I hadn't run that nonstop though, so it was good to run the full half mile today. My calves aren't really sore either, like I thought they'd be. I'm more aware of those muscles than I usually am, but they don't hurt. I wanted to be able to run more than I did, but I felt I should give my lungs more of a break, especially since the asthma was bothering me again over the weekend. I'm being careful not to push it too much because of my asthma. I feel great now though. :)

I'm not going to the doctor for my asthma just yet...I'm trying over the counter medicines, and if that doesn't help in the next few days, I'm going to the doctor.

Another thing I'm trying is really changing my diet a lot, for now, anyway. I'm going to eat a lot of raw foods, and avoid most refined sugars. That's supposed to be good for asthma, not to mention just your overall health, so I'm trying it. I'm at the point where I'll try just about anything that could help. Not drinking all this Dr Pepper might help...


Several days ago, I caught a huge moth outside, with a wingspan of 5-6". It's a polyphemus moth, and only lives for about 4-6 days. They don't eat or drink. I put him in a cardboard storage box with some branches, and put the lid on top.


Now, a funny story about something that happened to me last night:

First off, the setup of my room: When standing in the doorway, you can see my bed in the back left corner, with a window on the wall beside it, directly in front of you. In front of the window, I have a hopechest, with a cd player and my cowboy boots on top.

Last night, I was feeling bad, so I was sitting on my bed watching an old Vincent Price movie, House on Haunted Hill. I had just gotten a cup of tea, and needed a place to put it. I saw the box sitting nearby, and thought that looked perfect, so I set it on the chest. I peeked in at the moth, and thought he might be dead, but I wasn't sure. I then put my cup of tea on top of the box.

Remember, I was watching a Vincent Price movie, which got me a little jumpy. Not too much, but a bit. If I've been watching jumpy movies at night, I have this thing about windows...I don't like looking out of them into the darkness. Before settling down for bed, I put on another movie, Since You Went Away. After watching a bit of that, I went to bed. Just as I was on the verge of being asleep, I heard something move near my window. I opened my eyes and saw light flash outside my window, then heard the sound again. Something was moving around quite frantically! After a few seconds of wondering what on earth was after me, I came to realize it was the moth, who decided he was very much alive after all. I watched the window and saw a few more flashes of lightening, then felt rather silly.

After about five minutes of the moth trying to break through the box while I tried to keep the dog from barking at the noise, my room got quiet again. Once I got over the fit of giggles that came over me, I finally got to sleep.

The sinus infection is better, but the asthma is worse than it's been in months. It's kept me up past four every night this week, then last night, this morning really, I didn't get to sleep until almost 5:30. My chest will start feeling tight and I'll feel out of breath, and lying down only makes it worse, so I can't go to bed like that.

I've kept hoping it was just brought on by the sinus infection, and that it would get better, but it only seems to be getting worse.

The asthma hadn't been too bad or bothering me that much over the past few months. It's bothered me off and on, but not too badly. But this past week, it's really flared up again. We're considering me going to the doctor...I can't be on any long-term preventative asthma medicines, as they actually make me worse. But I could get on a short burst of Prednisone, a steroid which helps with minimal side effects. The only side effect I get with that one is that is makes me eat about twice as much as usual, and I usually don't eat much anyway. And it actually helps me. I don't particularly like taking steroids, but I really find not being able to breathe rather inconvenient as well. I'd rather take the Prednisone if it helped me breathe easier.

Please pray for wisdom as we decide what to do, as well as wisdom for the doctor if I go. This is getting very debilitating.

...that's what it's been around here. I planned on updating more, but things have been rather rough this week. We had to have our dog Katie put down yesterday, which has been quite hard on us all. I was supposed to have gotten my newsletter out by now, but between me being sick and us dealing with everything regarding Katie, it just hasn't happened yet.

I think I'm getting over the cold, though I'm still not sure if I'm going downtown tomorrow night or not. My asthma is still bothering me and keeping me up a lot at night, so I'm exhausted. I'd like to go, but I also don't want to push myself. I need to get better, not do so much I don't have any time to rest.

I finished Wuthering Heights Tuesday night. It was quite an interesting book. I don't see it being something I'd read again, but I am glad I read it. In that book club, there's currently a tie between Pride and Prejudice and The Picture of Dorian Gray. I've read P&P four or five times, and don't want to read that one again right now. However, I've been wanting to read Dorian Gray again anyway. I read it a little over a year ago, and was already wanting to read it again before this book club. I would enjoy being able to discuss the book with a group of people as I read it. I'd also like to read Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde again and write an essay/article comparing and contrasting it with Dorian Gray.

Saturday, Daddy ended up giving away the puppy. However, we're getting something else in a few weeks. I grew up with cats, at one point having 16 between our adult cats and their kittens. I've missed having cats, and so have my sisters. We had some friends offer us some kittens, and this weekend, my parents said we can get two! We're getting the kittens in a few weeks, when they're old enough. We're going to get two females, and we're probably naming them Susan and Lucy.

I found out that the music group I had been going to is taking a break over the summer and won't be meeting again until September. So I'm not going to be going back to that for a while.

Saturday, my cousin and her fiancé, who we all really want to meet, are going to be in town. We're excited about that! :)

I've really been working on eating healthier lately, being careful about what I eat. I've been watching the amount of sugar I eat, cutting back on Dr Pepper a lot, and just generally trying to eat healthier. And what do I have to show for it? I've got a cold, which is irritating my asthma again. I'm just kidding...I'm still going to work on eating healthier, but it is rather ironic that I should get a cold just now when I haven't had one in many months.

When we got home Friday night, I thought I was probably coming down with one, as I felt miserable. I felt that way off and on all weekend, then today, I've been completely exhausted and haven't felt up to doing much of anything. I had an asthma attack Saturday night after just eating a small amount of ice cream, so I'm pretty much cutting all dairy out of my diet for a while now, until well after the cold is gone. Even then, I'm going to be very careful about how much cheese, ice cream, etc. I eat, and just have it in moderation. I had another asthma attack last night, worse than I've had in months. Crying and getting upset can bother asthma, and that flareup was brought on from me crying during the movie last night. So after those two asthma attacks, I'm taking this pretty seriously again. Since colds worsen asthma, I'm hoping I'll be a lot better again once the cold goes away. I haven't had asthma attacks like this in months, so I'm thinking it must be the cold aggravating it. I had a bit of ice cream Thursday night, when we ate dinner with some friends and I did just fine. What I had Saturday night was even less than that, and was on top of some cobbler, so I didn't think it would bother me at all. That leads me to believe it may have been that the cold already had my lungs irritated, so they're just more sensitive to any other irritants right now.

I am still treating the asthma and the cold naturally, avoiding medicines and using herbs and natural remedies. I did take my emergency inhaler last night, but that's the only medicine I'll take for it, and that only when I'm getting very concerned about my breathing. I'm hoping to be well enough to go downtown Friday night, but if I'm not feeling well, I'm not going to push myself. The pollen and pollution down there wouldn't be good for me. I'm probably going to use some of this down time to work on our websites, when I feel up to it.

I'm about halfway through Wuthering Heights now. It was hard to get into it, but after a few chapters, I didn't want to put it down. However, it is much darker than most classics. I was expecting something similar to Jane Austen in story and writing style. Now the closest thing I know to compare it to is The Picture of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde, which is rather dark. After I finish reading it, I plan on writing a review and posting it here. I'd like to start writing more reviews of books I read and posting them here, and making a page on my blog for book and movie reviews.